


oh, darling, i wish you were here

by DoctorFitzy (KittooningMalijah)



Series: Hauntober 2020 [11]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Hauntober, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26951821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittooningMalijah/pseuds/DoctorFitzy
Summary: Deke has a nightmare, which leads to a late night phone call that may or may not get them in trouble.
Relationships: Trevor Khan/Deke Shaw
Series: Hauntober 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948561
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	oh, darling, i wish you were here

**Author's Note:**

> for Hauntober day 11: "nightmare"

His nightmares were rarely the same from night to night. Some were about his own life in danger; some were about his family; some were about his memories from childhood. Sometimes, it could be weeks before any nightmare would repeat itself, and that had grown to be somewhat comforting. Even if something scared him, it wasn't a constant fear, and distractions were easy to find even in the early hours of the morning.

The pattern broke, just like he knew it had to, and he did his best to hold himself together.

Deke woke up in a cold sweat for the third night in a row, crawling out of bed to shuffle to the kitchen and get a cup of water. It didn't really help when he was still shaken up from the images that had been living behind his eyelids, but it was something he could try to focus on instead of the fear and grief that wouldn't fade. Repeat dreams were rare, and having the exact same one occur three times without a break made him anxious.

**(** _ if he closed his eyes or blinked for just a second too long, he would see it again. the blood, the empty eyes, the aftereffects of an attack he couldn't prevent  _ **)**

Taking out his phone, he found the familiar number in his contacts list without even looking at the time displayed on the screen. He just needed some reassurance, a small reminder that he hadn't missed some horrible massacre, even if he was just sent to voicemail. At least that would give him a small fix of the voice he needed to hear.

_ "Ignoring the fact that time zones are a thing, you know I'm on a mission. This better be a pretty big emergency so I can explain it to the director."  _ Trevor answered quickly, the call barely even hitting the second ring before he was able to hear his boyfriend's voice.

With a weak smile, Deke leaned against the edge of the counter and closed his eyes. If he could hold onto this, even if it was only for a few minutes, everything would be okay. "I know, I know, I'm sorry... What time is it for you? I know I can't know where you are, but..."

_ "It's a little after ten in the morning, here. What are you doing up? Even you aren't usually still awake this late." _

"I had a nightmare." He all but whispered the words, biting his lip and looking down at his socked feet. It wasn't as though he'd never had a bad dream before, and it wasn't even the first one he'd had about the very person he was talking to, but it wasn't a topic he necessarily enjoyed, either. "I keep having this one, and I... I just needed to know that you're okay."

A soft sigh sounded over the line, and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly.  _ "Do you want to talk about it? I don't have to even really work for another few hours." _

"I mean... not really..." Deke frowned and took a slow breath, only taking a few moments to glance over at the digital clock on the microwave. It was after two in the morning, and he really should be trying to get back to sleep, but any excuse to stay on this phone call was one he would take. "Give me just a minute...? I'm gonna get back in bed."

He took a few minutes to get back to the bedroom and get settled, letting the sound of whatever Trevor's breakfast was help him relax. It was all just his mind playing tricks, he knew that, but even that small reassurance in the darkness was comforting. So maybe he savored it for a few extra seconds before speaking up again, but that was his own business.

"It's stupid..."

_ "It's not stupid. It was obviously bad enough that you had to call me, right? Your fear isn't stupid." _

Deke sighed and kept his eyes open while he pulled the blankets around him, frowning mostly to himself. "But it's stupid to be afraid of something like that. Because it's all  _ fake,  _ you know? And even most kids know that nightmares aren't real, but here I am, calling you in the middle of the night because I'm scared of something that probably won't even  _ happen." _

_ "But it's bothering you. Maybe something is genuinely scary to you, and this is how it's manifesting. Did you watch a scary movie without me?" _

"Trevor, I don't even watch scary movies  _ with _ you. Half the time, I have my eyes closed." The teasing was enough to make him smile again, even if it was small and careful. There was still anxiety lingering in his stomach, but the phone call was doing exactly what he'd hoped it would. It was helping. "No, I didn't watch a scary movie without you. It's... My nightmare was about the Kree..."

There was a short moment of silence while he took a deep breath, and part of him was relieved that he was being allowed to just  _ talk.  _ If he was interrupted in the middle of it, he didn't think he'd be able to finish, no matter how short the description of the nightmare actually was. "It's the same, every night. The Kree attack wherever it is I am, and I try to help, but they're not attacking  _ me,  _ so I have to figure out where they actually are. And I... I turn around this corner, and it doesn't even matter if I can find them, because it's too late. And I know it's  _ not real,  _ but I've seen you dead way too many times this week. When are you coming home?"

_ "Oh."  _ There was another short silence while Trevor took his own slow breath.  _ "I'll talk to Mack as soon as I get back to the Lighthouse. I should be able to go back tonight or tomorrow, if everything goes as planned, today. Barring any international crises, I can probably be there this weekend?" _

Deke bit his tongue and squeezed his eyes shut while he tried to relax again under the blankets. "If you're busy, or SHIELD needs you, it's not a big deal. I just... I miss you. And if anything happens, you're really far away and I can't do anything to help."

_ "Which one of us is the field trained agent who was assigned to watch over the other, again?" _

"I still win when we play Remorath Rumble, so I don't know what your point is."

_ "I can hear you smiling." _

"Because I'm remembering my grand victory where I kicked your ass."

And he was smiling, for the rest of the hour long phone call. Even if he wasn't able to close his eyes and go back to sleep any time soon, Deke still had a little bit of peace. For the time being, his boyfriend, his  _ best friend,  _ was within his reach, and nothing else mattered.


End file.
